


the unraveling

by Casuallysavingtheworld



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Anxiety, Could be triggering, Overdose, description of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:37:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casuallysavingtheworld/pseuds/Casuallysavingtheworld
Summary: You’re seventeen, when it all comes crashing down.
The world that you built, the empire you created,
It’s all gone.





	

You can’t stop shaking, you’re breathing too much but your throat is closing up. 

 

You gulp for air, as you slide down the wall of your bathroom, hands tangling in your hair. 

 

_ NOT WANTED _

_ NOT GOOD ENOUGH _

_ WORTHLESS _

_ FAILURE _

_ FAILURE _

_ FAILURE _

_ FAILURE _

 

The words fall over each other in your mind, never deciding which one represented you more, you were never his son. 

 

_ UNLOVED _

_ NOT WANTED _

_ FAILURE _

_ DISAPPOINTED _

 

The fates must have dealt you a bad card, a bad string, SOMETHING. 

 

This isn’t real, this isn’t happening. You want to scream, your hands clutching your hair, you can’t stop pulling it, this isn’t real, this isn’t happening. 

 

You look up, tears almost blinding your eyes, you see the pill bottle. It’s better when you take the pills, it’s easier. 

 

You stand on shaky legs, pulling yourself up by the sink. Your face is red from crying, bloodshot eyes. 

 

You’ve looked like this before. Many times, this has been a recurring factor in your life. You look empty, and this also is something you have grown used to as the years went by, and you grew older.

 

You reach for the pills, pouring them into your hand. 

 

_ YOU ARE NOT HIS SON  _

_ HIS SON WOULD HAVE BEEN BETTER _

_ BE BETTER _

_ HIS SON WOULD HAVE BEEN THE BEST _

_ BE THE BEST _

_ DO THE BEST _

_ BE THE GREATEST _

_ YOU ARE NOT GOOD ENOUGH _

 

You look into the mirror and you take the pills. It’s a little more than your normal amount, but this is fine, this is nothing unusual. 

 

You hold onto the pill bottle in your other hand, gripping it and the sink. 

 

You gulp for air, still shaking, still 

 

_ NOT GOOD ENOUGH _

_ NOT GOOD ENOUGH _

_ HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU _

_ YOU ARE NOT WORTHY _

_ YOU ARE NOT HIS SON _

_ NOT HIS SON _

 

The yelling is getting more jumbled, as you start losing focus on the mirror, on your bloodshot eyes, on the missing pieces, the cracks, the shatters. 

 

_ HIS SON WOULD HAVE GONE FIRST IN THE DRAFT _

_ HIS SON WOULD HAVE BEEN DRAFTED _

_ HE DOESN’T LOVE YOU _

 

You collapse, like all the black dwarfs in the skies, ready to supernova, ready to become a black hole. 

 

The pills spill out of your hands, and you stare at the ceiling. 

 

The light is getting blinding, but also faded, as though it’s miles away but right by your face.  

 

You’re still gulping, once again like a fish without water and you close your eyes. 

 

Your breathing slowing, your heart slowing, the world slowing. 

 

You are seventeen when your world collapses around you.

You are seventeen when your dreams become failures. 

You are seventeen when you aren’t enough anymore. 

You are seventeen when you supernova. 

You are seventeen.

 

_ at least now, you’ll be the star he was. _

_ at least now, you’ll be remembered. _

**Author's Note:**

> Jack said that he didn't get drafted, and while we don't know exactly what that means, I took it as literal.  
> This is the aftermath of not getting drafted at all.   
> For reasons unknown, but at least it's something. 
> 
> Tumblr: thegoghdiaries  
> Twitter: keepvangoghing
> 
> (Please leave any feedback, no negative comments please!)


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